Love is the one business in which it pays to be an absolute spendthrift: give it away; throw it away; splash it over; empty your pockets; shake the basket; and tomorrow you’ll have more than ever.
Romance. Ohhhh, sweet romance. I am sooo in-love with love. However, today, after
being fully anointed with spiritual wisdom and understanding of the genuine essence
of love, I’m letting my God do the guiding. Use to be, I was engrossed with the
romance novel type of love and_ Okayyyy, I’ll put the brakes on. I confess; I
still am. But the wiser me reads for
the thrill of the read. LOL.
Once
upon a time…a verrrrry long time ago, one could buy True Love Romance comic
books in the 7-11 stores. Does anyone remember
those days? Well, there use to be comic
book stands almost immediately upon entering the store.
After
school, I’d go in and spend ‘all’ my money! See, I’d saved all my lunch money
for about a week just to buy 3 / 4 comic books. Every once in a while, I’d actually buy other
genre too. There was Scooby Doo; I loved Scooby. And I’d occasionally buy Archie,
Betty and Veronica, and Richie Rich. But, I’d venture to say that I possessed
about 4 -500 romance comics before I graduated high school! I was captivated and very close to being
obsessed with these stories of love.
But,
how many of you know the potential dangers of being ensnared by the illusion of
make believe (years later, I would became a published romance author). Dreams of a knight in shining armor can (if not careful) become a
figment of our imagination that will eventually become a false reality. Below is an example of some of what I was
absorbed in.
These stories
coupled with see the love for my mom in my dad’s eyes sealed the dream of
having that perfect husband. My parents
were married ‘until death did them part”.
Little did I know that my parents were not the only resource to prepare me for
marriage? At that time, I never remotely
close to considering what my parents in the Bible taught
about marriage? Which parents am I
referring to? Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and then there was Jacob
and his wives…Leah and Rachel, have a lot to teach us about marriage, don’t
they! WOW! How would we handle that situation
today? Marriage is a union of two
imperfect people coming together in a fallen and sinful world, both with good
and bad traits, habits, sins, selfish desires…….both like sheep…gone astray and
wanting
to be happy. Paul says it's a formula for trouble.
Reality Check. As I stated, God wasn’t in my plans at the
time in my life. In the 1st chapter of
Corinthians verse 21 Paul says: "….But those who marry will face many
troubles in this life." I didn’t
know I would need Jesus in my marriage; I was tip toeing through the tulips and
reading the pages of comic books. Little did I know that the Bible had a lot to
say about marriage? Let’s visit 1 Cor. 7
together. Oh, let me make one point clear before we
proceed.
I am not an authority on marriage! I am studying and learning with you. I
believe that the man my heavenly Father is preparing for me will love GOD more
than me; so with that in mind, our marriage will not fail because he will be
honoring the GOD in me, always seeking to please the one who brought us
together. Hallelujah and Amen!
20 Biblical Marriage Principles WE
Need to COMMIT TO HEART
Marriage
principles are in essence things that you should and things that you should not
do or say in a marriage. If the couple follows these principles then the
changes that marriage will be successful are increased.
In 1 Corinthians
7:10, 11, Jesus did not address every possible marriage detail. He did, however, ask His disciples to follow
God’s original creation design and never to sever the oneness of their marriage
bond (Matt. 19:3-9). A Christian couple is to bear witness to the
world by keeping marriage indissoluble.
They represent the truth of covenant love and should live and grow in a
spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation.
Having dealt with the ideal of marriage, Paul, realizing the reality of
stresses and human failure, mentions the permissibility of divorce (but and if
she depart [v.11]). This permitted
divorce has a strict regulation-no adultery, meaning there can most likely be
no remarriage in this case except to the one from whom she was previously
divorced (let he remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband [v.11]). It is not clear why Paul addresses this from
the woman’s perspective, but the principle applies to both genders.
Nonetheless, how
we approach marriage, more importantly, how we fulfill it, is extremely
important to our own welfare and homes. It will either yield great joy and
fulfillment or heartache and disappointment.
1. Be fair, you are
not always correct
Be fair with your
self and partner and have always in your mind that you are not always correct.
You may be sometimes wrong in your decisions and thoughts. It is a fact that
when two people disagree, the truth is somewhere in the middle. And when two
people separate then certainly the blame is in both. If from time to time we
forget the middle ground, and we do not compromise then this will create severe
problems to our marriage. The marriage principle in this case is to compromise
and accept the fact that you are making mistakes and sometimes exaggerating
more than needed.
2. Do not promise
anything you cannot do
If the marriage
was based on our many words, but words were never made into projects, it is
perfectly logical to be full of frustration and anger. The words and promises
are made too easily when we love and when things go well. But when you get into
a difficult situation things change. This is the time to stop the unreal
promises and start making actions.
3. Everybody makes
mistakes
Accept the simple
principle, that all people make mistakes. The mistake is part of human nature
and we should be able to forgive and look to the future. If we rehash the
mistakes, and if in any disagreement we mention one hundred other reasons we
should in the past being angry with our partner, then this will kill our soul
and will fill it with the anger and bad memories.
4. Respect to be
respected
Perhaps while we
promised respect, eternal love and devotion, we do not follow this oath? Maybe
we did not understand that the marriage is a commitment to life and we must
respect and honor the person with whom we connected our lives. Showing lack of
respect to our partner, whether occasional or on a permanent basis, is perhaps
the biggest mistake that we do. When respect is not mutual in a marriage then
it is more likely that marriage will end up in a disaster.
5. Show your interest
to your partner
Marriage is like a
flower that wants watering every day or else I will be destroyed. So we must
not rest on the fact that now that we are married we should not show any
interest in our partner but let things as they come. It takes a lot of trouble
and struggle to maintain quality and a genuine relationship. We need every day
to show our interest in our partner not only in words but also in deeds.
6. Be consistent
We need to be
consistent between words and acts so that the other person can trust us. Even
taking care to be together and supportive in every difficult moment of our
partner and not only look on how we can have a good time.
7. Be open for
discussion with your partner
All issues and
disputes must be settled and resolved through dialogue and not by absolute
positions that are dogmatically imposed from one person to the other person. As
a good principle, do not avoid discussions and never try to impose your opinion
on your partner. Everybody has his or her own opinion and this should be
respected. In case of a disagreement the best way to find a solution is through
discussion.
8. Do not take
advantage of your superiority
Do not exploit
your possible superiorities in a particular area over your partner. For example
if you are in a better financial position or have a better job than your
partner do not try to take advantage of that and make your partner feel
inferior. Instead, as a principle try to support and help your partner to
improve with out criticism.
9. Make mutual
decisions with your partner
Decide together
for the birth and education of a child. Not one has illusions that everything
will be rosy and everyone knows that within life there is routine, boredom, and
disconnection. You need to have patience and faith in the strength of the
relationship and always try to find ways to tackle a difficult situation
together through dialogue and mutual decisions.
10. Do not neglect
your partner
In the context of
marriage you have to give your partner the attention he/she deserves. You
should not always deal with your work or children and neglect your partner. The
principle is that you should have a balance in your life, so as to manage your
time efficiently and have enough time to devote to your partner and family.
11. Do not get
nervous at the same time.
12. Do not shout to each other unless the house is on
fire.
13. If someone must win a ‘fight’ then let the other
win.
14. If you must judge and criticize your
partner then do it with love.
15. Do not repeat mistakes you made in the past.
16. Neglect the word around you than
neglecting your partner.
17. Never go to bed without being in terms
with your partner.
18. Try at least once a day to compliment
your partner.
19. If you make a mistake, be ready to admit
it and apologize.
20. It takes two to make a brawl, and usually
the one that is wrong talks more.
In Christ,
Playwright Janet
Irene Thomas
Founder/CEO
Bible Stories
Theatre of
Fine &
Performing Arts (BSTFPA)
